The state of black love is at a critical all time low. The values that used to keep us together have faded and we now rely on media and celebrities to tell us what we should do, how we should do it and who we should do it with. The love we once shared was part of our strong commitment to family, but the black family has become over 50% headed by black women and in many instances the father is rarely or never around. As a result, we now have broken family structures that are in such bad conditions they have produced a whole new generation who without love or a demonstration of love have become cold-hearted, lackluster and ruthless.
The breakdown of black love is deeply rooted in men and women allowing the world to tell them how and who to love. Some of it is subliminal, but very powerful in the separation of black love. For instance, black athletics parade around with so-called trophy wives and girlfriends (mostly always white) as a demonstration of what they believe is success. This action by a few men has helped create an epidemic among black men and further separates black love as they often create a negative image of black women, while painting a positive image of white women without regard to the black mothers and grandmothers who raised them with love. This type of conduct helps to strip black women of their true value.
Black women also share in the breakdown of black love. With all the responsibility we have, we cannot afford to allow worldly pleasures to distract us from our family responsibilities. We are often so starved for love, we have lost our self-respect. Black women who are heads of households continue to have babies out of wedlock which they cannot support. We have become so self-indulged that we spend much of our time on our own pleasures like hair, clothes and social activities; we neglect our children, spouses and households. The high obesity rate among black women leads to disease, depression and may limit our opportunities for love and companionship, particularly since we are being judged by other people’s standards.
While there are many reasons for the separation of black love, in my opinion, some of the keys to bringing black love together again are positive communication, submission, respect, honesty and God. The world did not make us, we succumbed to worldly desires. If we replace worldly desires with matters of the heart, we can move in a direction that opens the door to addressing the issues that keep us apart. When we point our finger, make sure the direction goes towards you first. We have to correct our own faults and insecurities and then we can successfully relate to each other. In the words of the songwriter, let’s get back to you, let’s get back to us, let’s get back to love.
- Chicago, IL, United States
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